Shadows Through The Days
by LegendThriller
Summary: All these friends of mine like to think they've found the one. Tell me with us it'll be different. Tell me we've only just begun. Multiple pairings. Chapter 8: Candice Michelle
1. Lillian

I had fallen asleep in the most uncomfortable chair the hospital had to offer. Out of all the hospitals I've been in, because I have been a few, they all had comfy chairs. They were soft, you could sink into them, some were leather, some pulled out in a small, single bed, but a bed nonetheless. This chair? Wood. Stiff back, it made my butt feel boney, and worst of all there was no recliner. I fell asleep sitting up straight with my legs crossed and my hands folded in my lap. If it weren't for all those hours of falling asleep on the airplane, I would have found this to be an extremely uncomfortable position. But the only thing that made this uncomfortable was the chair I had to sit in.

Nurses kept entering and leaving, simply checking his heart rate and writing it down on their clipboard. The soft beats began to get stuck in my head like a song, a very haunting song. One of those songs that are so bad you think to yourself "Good God, I could live the rest of my life without hearing that song again," but these beeps, depending how his heart was, were beeping between 75-80 times a minute. A normal heart rate, annoying beats, uncomfortable chairs, he owed me for this.

I would have been sleeping, but it was his groan that made sure I stayed awake.

It was New Years Eve, around nine o'clock at night. Maria and Carlito have this great apartment in New York City that they love to throw parties in, and what better way to throw a party than on New Years? So, with half the roster there, I sat alone in the living room on the couch, legs crossed and a single glass of Champaign, just taking in all the happy couples around me. Some were dancing, some were conversing with other couples, or the girls were off in a small circle and pointing at one another's boyfriend's, while the guys stood in their own circle, discussing either football or wrestling, oblivious to their girlfriend's. It was almost cute.

Out on the balcony there were more people, the smokers, the hardcore drinkers… the single people. Some were paired up in the "we'll hook up tonight and never mention it again" category, a popular one in the locker room. Others were casually hanging out at the edge of the balcony, looking at the people below them. It was a spectacular view from where they were standing, a clear spot where we would be able to see the ball drop in Times Square, shout "Happy New Years!" and either kiss the person next to us or clang the glasses of Champaign together. I really should have been out there with the other "singles", but the couch was just far too comfy.

"Lillian! Are you having a good time?" Maria came over and sat next to me, giving me one of those one arm hugs because she had a drink in her other hand. I was jealous over how great she looked in the small black dress she had, and her hair all done up. Her make up, as usual, could only be defined as perfection and she had that wide smile, as if she really was happy that I came. "There's snacks in the kitchen, drinks on the counter, and if you need to use the bathroom, it's just down the hall and third door to the left. Are you having a good time?"

She was too perky, the perfect hostess for the evening. I felt bad for all the animosity I showed towards her when she first came in, because she really was a sweet girl. One of the most polite and innocent ones in the locker room that truly just wanted to experience the world and change her life. Since she's been with Carlito for long enough it was a surprise they weren't engaged, Maria just seems more focused and natural. They did make a cute couple… as did Candice and John Cena, Mickie and Punk… Matt Hardy and Ashley…

"Great time," I assured the hostess, watching her smile again. Her attention left me and went back to her boyfriend, looking quite handsome in his suit. The black jacket undone and matching black pants looked great with the white shirt he had on underneath, the first couple of buttons undone. She clearly picked out his outfit. I watched as they exchanged a kiss on each other's cheeks before retreating to opposite sides of the room.

That's when I couldn't take it anymore. I used her suggestion to use the bathroom, down the hall and third door to the left, to get out of the room with all the couples and lit candles. It was like a scene from an alcohol commercial, the perfect apartment, dim lit room, everyone dressed to the nines and having a good time while sipping martini's, except no one was acting. People really were having a good time and making their resolutions, promising to help each other to keep it, making pact's to make sure the next year would be far superior than the past. Then there was me. Alone with my glass of Champaign and all dressed up, yet no one would speak to me, or even pay attention to me. This wasn't what I needed on New Years Eve.

Yet again, neither was this hospital trip.

Once I reached the bathroom, the door was already slightly ajar, and one of the blond SmackDown! girl's was kneeling by the bath tub with her mane covering her face. A quick snort with her head moving in a steady line, I cleared my voice to make my presences known. When she got off of her knees, she gave me a dirty look, which reminded me why I always thanked my lucky stars I was never drafted to Friday night, and she never came over to Raw. With an exchange like that, it was obvious we wouldn't get along, even if I hadn't interrupted her while she did a line of blow.

When she left, after giving me an obnoxious brush by with her shoulder that knocked me against the wall, I quietly closed the door and locked it. Contact from the outside world, no thank you. They were avoiding me enough. With a sigh, that was when I noticed him, just laying in the bathtub, half awake. It was only 9:15.

"Jeff?" I asked quietly, kneeling where whatsherface was kneeling just moments before. "You look out of it."

He mumbled something, wiping the drool off of his chin from his sleep and squinted his eyes. He was the only person tonight that hadn't bothered to dress up, it made me think he wasn't even invited, just showed up because he knew everyone would be here, including his brother. "Wher'mi?" he asked, scratching the scruff on his face.

"In a bathtub. Comfy?" I moved a piece of hair that was lying across his eye, so he could see better, only to notice small beads of sweat forming at the top of his hairline. "You're burning up," I whispered, standing up to grab a face cloth and put some cold water on it. I noticed him as he grabbed his stomach and groaning, his eyes closed and an agonizing pain look on his face. When I put the cold face cloth on his face, he swiped it away quickly, letting out a yell. My heart began racing while my stomach turned, I was almost in complete panic mode. The only thing I could think of to do was to hop into the tub myself, straddle the poor guy and make him face me.

"Follow my finger, Jeff," I told him, putting my index finger in his eyesight and moving it side to side as slowly as I could. When he shot up forward and threw up on my dress, I held my breath at the smell and stepped out of the tub, grabbing him by his shirt and attempted to take him out. I begged him to work with me, which he did, very sloth like. He tripped over the side of the tub.

"Help!" I opened the door and shouted. The first person to come to my rescue was John, who instantly scrunched his face when he saw my dress. "I need you."

"Lillian, not here at the party…" he told me with a wink while slipping by me. I heard him let out a gasp when he saw Jeff on the floor, and John mentioned he just stepped on the poor guy's fingers.

"He's sweating, he's in pain, and he threw up on me…"

"Go to my bag in the guest room, take out a shirt and some pants. Change, and I'll meet you down in the parking lot. We're going to take this guy to the hospital."

I left the bathroom and went to the guest room, at the end of the hall, fifth door on the right. John's bag was easy to find underneath Candice's, who looked like she had already moved in and claimed the room as her own. The shirt went down to my knees, and the pants were so baggy I had to tuck the ends into my shoes so they wouldn't drag on the ground. I felt bad for not explain to Maria in full, but I made sure to tell her to let Matt know we were taking Jeff to the hospital.

He met us there. I sat in the back of John's car with the youngest Hardy, doing the polite girl thing by holding his hair back when he decided he had to vomit. I was glad we had a good driver, John drove kind of slow, but we got to the hospital in good timing, seeing as Matt showed up a little less than five minutes later when we were in the waiting room.

Jeff was shivering in the uncomfortable wooden chairs that while we were waiting when Matt showed up, instantly running to the side of his younger brother. "Gosh Jeff," I heard him whisper. It was a little after ten o'clock.

When Jeff was finally admitted to a room, at 11:34 PM, two nurses went to Jeff's side and began to stick a tube down his throat, while a doctor pulled Matt, John and I back out into the hall. "Does he have a history of abuse?" he asked. I couldn't help but notice how handsome the doctor was.

Matt nodded his head. "Yes sir," he answered. John put a hand on both Matt's and mine shoulder and told us he was leaving.

The doctor turned to me. "Have you noticed a change in his moods?" I didn't know what to say to that. I never travel with Jeff and I sat next to him on a plane once, where he slept the whole time. Sure, I see him backstage, but he does his own thing and I do mine… "Not really," I said with a shrug. "He's pretty distant from everyone, and I found him in the bathroom."

"We're going to pump his stomach and go from there. I suggest the two of you stay out here while that is happening, and we'll have Nurse Michelle will inform you when it is safe to go see him." He gave us a quick, small smile before he entered the room where Jeff was, leaving Matt and I on our own.

We took a seat in those chairs that I began to dread and sat in silence, until he said, "you can leave if you want."

"No, Matt. I'll stay here with you, you shouldn't be by yourself right now." I put my hand on his knee to get his attention. "Go back to Maria's and see Ashley."

"He's my brother, I have to be here for him. Lils, he was doing so well… and then I let him out of my sight." I had to give him a hug; he was almost breaking down into tears. When Nurse Michelle came out, she gave us a positive smile as she approached Matt and I.

"He'll be OK," she told us. "He's still in a lot of pain, just some stomach cramps and they will last a while. He was dehydrated, so we have him hooked up to an IV, but we're going to keep him overnight just for observations and keep our eye on him. We did have to pump his stomach and found he had taken quite a bit of pills, but Dr. Baron said Jeff has had a history of drug abuse, correct?" Matt nodded his head again. "You must be his brother and girlfriend."

"Oh, I'm no…"

"Yes," Matt answered, giving me a slight jab to the ribs. "He's very close to the both of us."

She gave us another positive smile. "He'll be just fine, but maybe a new profession? These pain killers aren't going to work much longer." She raised her eyebrows at us as she left, and Matt let out a sigh of relief. "He's fine," he repeated her words. "He's going to be OK."

"Just fine," I assured him. "Go back to Ashley, I'll stay here with him." I could tell in his eyes he wasn't sure if I meant it or not. "Promise." He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before he left.

Walking into the room where Jeff was, I sat down in the wooden chair, where I would remain for the longest hours I've witnessed. He was sleeping silently, groaning every now and then from the stomach cramps the nurse told us about, but I couldn't help taking his free hand in mine and bringing it to my lips. His hands were so soft.

"Happy New Years," I whispered, tucking the strand of hair behind his ear again.

It was 12:07 AM, New Years Day.


	2. Jeff

I shouldn't have been there. Maria barely talks to me anymore since we broke up, but I was happy to see her and Carlito get along so well, and I couldn't help but wonder when he would put a ring on her finger. It should have been me to do that, but I screwed that up royally and moved on without even thinking about how bad it would hurt her. So why was I standing outside the building to where they leave on a cold New Years Eve? I didn't have to go, I wasn't invited, but I was in the city, maybe a quick drop by would be OK with them. It was going to be crowded anyways, maybe I could just sneak in.

I got through the building with ease and caught up with Punk and Mickie in the elevator. I didn't know what apartment Maria and Carlito lived in, but they did so I was grateful to run into them. It was then I clued in that there will be many couples there tonight, and I wasn't with anyone. Lonely night was ahead, so I patted my pocket gently, just to make sure those pills were there. They would keep me company.

She looked stunning in that cute black dress of hers, her hair was beautiful, the overall look felt like a stab in the stomach. Yes, this is what I screwed up, and she has gotten the perfect revenge on me by looking ten times more gorgeous than she ever was with me, in her new apartment with her boyfriend that treats her well. 1..2..3..yes, all my pills were still in my pocket. The look on her face when she saw me was surprising, as she actually seemed glad that I came.

"We found a hobo on the street and invited him," Punk told Maria while he shoved me closer to her. "Mickie said you wouldn't mind." The two exchanged a kiss on the cheek and he shook hands with Carlito.

"Glad you came, Jeff." Then she put her arms around me. A hug. I remembered her hugs to be warm and welcoming; they hadn't changed a bit. "Appetizers in the kitchen, Champaign is everywhere, welcome yourself to the fridge if the cheese and crackers don't fill you up." She held my hand and gave me a kiss on the cheek as well, "I'll meet you later in the lobby."

I fisted my pills. I didn't come to this party for a hookup, or a good time. I came so I would seem somewhat social instead of keeping to myself all the time, plus, this would get Matt off my back for never doing anything after shows. I did do things after shows, just alone, in my hotel room. Privacy wasn't always a bad thing.

It was too comfy. Everything about this apartment was too comfy. The couches were soft, the colours were soft, and it smelt nice so even the scent was soft. It was so comfy it was almost uncomfortable, but I could see Lillian already claimed the couch of loneliness, so I headed towards the bathroom. There was nothing comfortable about tile floors and porcelain baths. The door closed behind me not even two seconds after I let myself in. When I turned to see who it was, she gave me the eyes that some women give me at bars. The whole "You Have Something I Want" look, which could be just about anything: Comfort, drugs, sex, company, a hotel room, all of which I have shamefully been apart of. It didn't take her long to make the first move by backing me up against the counter, knocking over Maria's small display of seashells.

"What do you have?" her hand was already down my pants. "I'll do anything."

This didn't surprise me. I reached into my pocket and gave her a pill, leaving me with only two. "That's it? Only one?" She asked me, with what sounded like disgust in her voice. If she only knew what that pill will do to her…

"Yes, Maryse. Trust me on this." She raised her eyebrows at me, than gave me a kiss. She was seductive with her touch, her fingers through my hair and her teeth just biting down enough that I could feel it. I didn't want to get into the kiss as much as I did, but she was right there…I had to touch her. My hands went to her lower back, which was bare and just as soft as her lips were. Maria always had soft skin.

She stopped before we went any further. I watched as she went to her purse, which she placed on the counter when she came in, and took out a small mirror and a razor blade. She was one of the types that would rather snort than take a pill.

Weird.

I watched as she chopped up the pill repeatedly until it was a pile of powder, then she separated it on the mirror she had. Same routine, I had watched plenty of people do this before, so I popped the two pills that I had left into my mouth and laid in the bathtub. Uncomfortable, but that's what I needed. This whole night was filled with being uncomfortable and awkward, from how Punk announced he found me, to watching Blondie here do a line in the bathroom. Uncomfortable and awkward, and it was only 8:45 at night.

Maybe now I should tell her they're painkillers and she'll be sleeping within the next twenty minutes.

I don't remember much after that, as when I woke up next I was in a hospital. My eyes felt heavy, and the needle in my arm forbid me to move much to the side. IV's always hurt, and bruise me pretty bad, but it was when I saw someone sitting in a chair with a magazine did I fully wakeup.

"Mria?" Figures she was the first person that came to my mind. As long as it wasn't Matt…the last person I wanted to see now was him, because I don't need another one of his speeches. They're all the same and start to blend in together after a while, as I'm pretty sure I've heard the "staying by yourself is dangerous for your health and everyone around you. We're worried about you, Jeff." Good. Be worried.

"How are you feeling?" She put her magazine down and turned her attention to me. The voice wasn't soft enough to be Maria. "You've been out of it for a while, but the doctor said that was to be expected. Matt came in a few times, but you were still asleep, but he left you this." She gave me an envelope with my name on the front. Nothing fancy, just a straight up _Jeff._ Oh good. Now it's his speech in writing.

Now my eyes were fully opened and I saw who gave me the envelope. "Lillian?" Gross, my mouth was dry. Throat was scratchy, and when I rubbed my eyes I could feel the stubble on my face. How long was I asleep?

"Do you think about her a lot?" She was sitting at the foot of my bed with her hand on my leg. I had no idea what she was talking. "You kept calling out for Maria. I never knew you had a crush on her."

Sometimes I forget people never knew she cheated on Carlito with me, until they bought that fancy apartment anyways. I remember telling her if she and him were to move in together, she should practice being 'domestic'. I'd give her an A from what I remember of the party. Domestic Maria was very different from the Maria that invented the game "Pretend The World Is Ending". She told me one night to make love to her like it was our last day on earth, which I couldn't say no to. Then it became a game. I never objected to play it. Spending a weekend with her, in bed was truly romantic, and neither of us had a problem with it, until I mentioned the cute game with Candice. I should've known she would tell Maria that we played the game as well, and I'm pretty sure that's what ended us. One weekend in Hollywood, and that was it.

I regret sleeping with Candice everyday.

"What's today?" That would get my mind off of her.

"January 3rd." I missed New Years. Matt would never let this down. "Doctor's say you're doing well, though they want you to start eating and drinking soon. And suggested someone stay here at all times to supervise you…and on the road." Great. I'm thirty years old and I get a babysitter. I had a feeling Matt would be the first person to volunteer, but I of course hoped Maria would. I would take any excuse to touch her again. "They think I'm your girlfriend."

"You?" It came out much more harsher then I had intended, but Lillian didn't seem to mind. "No offense, but…"

"I know, I know." She rolled her eyes. "John and I brought you here on New Years Eve after we found you passed out in the bathtub at Maria's. You were sweating, threw up on me, your eyes were dilated… do you remember any of this?"

I shook my head. "Sorry I threw up on you."

"You overdosed on painkillers, Jeff. I'm not going to give you the big speech on how this could fuck up your career because I'm sure you've heard it before…" She hit that part perfectly. "But you can't keep doing this. I have to watch you for the next six months now. We're going to be traveling together, rooming together, eating together. You're going to see so much of me; it'll make you sick. Hopefully that'll teach you not to do this again." It took me a few seconds, but I managed to process what she told me. Lillian was going to be my babysitter. I was thankful it wasn't Matt, but hated it wasn't Maria. If anything could bring us back together, it would be this.

I looked at Lillian, the bags under her eyes, no make up; I don't think she had brushed her hair in a few days. The clothes she had on looked way too big on her, but then I remembered I had thrown up on her. I also remembered I never met Maria in the lobby.

"Thanks for doing all this," I finally said. "And I am sorry you had to go through everything as well, you look like you could use some sleep."

"The doctor's suggested it, but I couldn't leave."

"Why not?"

She gave me a playful grin and a small pat on my knee. "I'm your girlfriend, babe." With a wink, her grin became even bigger. "Personally, I think I've done a pretty good job. I even fought with your brother in front of the doctors, got the tears going. I need an Oscar for that performance."

"For me?" I hardly spoke to Lillian at shows. We'd pass each other and say hi, but that was always the end of our conversations. Never even asked each other how our days off were. Now she's arguing with Matt and crying for me.

"For you." I took the hand that didn't have a needle sticking in it and gave her a hug. I never thought I would affect more people than just Matt when I did something like this. Then I began to wonder how Maria felt, or if she even knew. "You can begin to repay me by buying me a new dress, and maybe a few hotel rooms. Possible a couple of dinners and rental cars, but we'll figure out the details later. Right now, we need to get you a doctor so they can check up on you and see when you can leave."

I watched as she got off the bed and left the room in the baggy outfit she had been wearing since New Years Eve. I did owe her a lot, and with all the time we'd be spending together I could see us maybe getting somewhat close.

But then again, I also hoped Maria won't get jealous more than anything.


	3. Maria

Sleeping seemed like a chore until I finally saw him again. Never alone in my New York apartment, Carlito made sure I was always at home with bringing me breakfast in bed and giving me back rubs when I needed them. Even the ring on my finger couldn't change the fact that Jeff was on my mind when he shouldn't have been, and I only said yes because I pretended it was him that was asking me.

Jeff. Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff. Holding back tears when I saw John carry him out of my apartment was impossible. It was my party, I had to be the happy hostess and make sure no one had an empty glass, but Jeff was sick and I wanted to be with him. I couldn't obviously, and it wasn't until I saw him again a week after did my stomach finally calm down. It was in catering when I saw him, alone at a table writing in his journal and checking his phone for the odd text message… I almost sent him one on New Years, but held back. Sometimes Carlito checked my phone.

I questioned myself if it was right to sit next to him at this moment. I could play it smooth and sit next to Candice, John, and Mickie. Nothing suspicious there, I hope. John Cena with three women, that's nothing new to the locker room. I started to get nervous again at my decisions, finally deciding that I should do neither, and instead go running. Yes, running. Up and down the stairs with my music blaring so I could be alone with my thoughts and think of how big of a mistake this engagement is.

Six months, two weeks and four days. That was the last time Jeff and I had been together, in his North Carolina home on that mattress he likes to call a bed. I remembered how his hands would touch me, the way his lips felt on the spot between my neck and shoulder. He would always kiss my freckle there, because he thought it was cute. Had I known it would be our last night together, I would've let my guard down more. Jeff and I had done just about everything there was to do sexual wise, but I couldn't go as far as he would have liked that night. Even after I had begged him to 'pretend the world is ending', I just couldn't go through with all of it, and to this day I can't figure out why. He had always turned me on…

My phone vibrated in my pocket while I was half way down this flight of stairs. I was almost down the whole arena without stopping, but this seemed important. Maybe it would be an entertaining text… or just another phone call from my boyfri…fiancée. It was going to take me a while to remember he's my fiancée now. "Hello?" I was too lazy to check the screen to see who it was.

"Are you busy?" It was Candice. She never knew she was part of the reason why Jeff and I broke up.

"No, Candy, what's up? Are you at the arena yet, I'm just in the sitting area." I could see her walk down the ramp and looking for me while she was still on the phone. My favourite thing to do when I see someone do this is hide behind the chair so they can't see me.

I wonder if John knew about her weekend with Jeff…

Damnit, she was good at this game. "Well," she sat down in the row above me, leaning forward to rest her arms on the chair in front of her. "I'm starting to think that John knows." She had told me about her weekend with Jeff shortly after he and I called it quits. "He just seems so distant lately. Maybe he has something on the side? What if he's doing this to get revenge at me? I never told him, so maybe he'll never tell me?" I never told Carlito. "What do you think?"

What do I think of cheating people? I think they're lovely and throw great New Years Eve parties, while wearing a fabulous black dress. Also, they have an even more fabulous boyfriend who buys their cheating girlfriend a huge rock for her ring finger, and then she gives her word to marry him because she loves him and not another man; definitely not the guy that got carried out by her best friend's boyfriend, oh no. Cheating people are just friggin' fabulous. "Have you tried talking to him? Make him dinner some night, light some candles…" that's what I used to do after I saw Jeff. Lay the affection on thick. "Buy some new lingerie! That's always a fun thing to do, plus, it'll be a surprise for him because he hadn't seen you in it before."

Jeff always saw it before Carlito did.

"Can we have a girls day tomorrow? I know we have a late flight to Dallas, so maybe we could kill time before we have to leave?" She seemed too innocent at this point. I know Candice has a past of cheating on her boyfriends, but she really did try just being with John, and she was… for two years. I, on the other hand, cheated on my boyfriend for two years. With the same man that Candice had cheated on her boyfriend with.

Oh, the drama.

"Sure sweetie, we can do a girls day. Want me to tell Mickie and Kelly too? I think they could use a girls day." Really, I just didn't want to be alone with Candice for a few hours. Since she had cheated on John, she kept dwelling on that one weekend she spent with Jeff in Hollywood. And mentioned it constantly, which in a way was cute, because she gave off the impression she really cared about him, and gasp! Maybe even love him? Then she would talk about the way he moved, how he spoke, where he touched…

I always got the satisfaction in knowing he did it with me first.

Speak of the devil. With my mind racing over how Candice can cover up the fact she was unfaithful, Jeff began running over at the other side of the arena, up and down the stairs just like what I was doing earlier. Baggy basketball shorts, a muscle shirt, his hair in a ponytail…even from a distance I longed for him. I had to look away before Candice caught me staring at him. It was funny how our reactions were such opposite: I couldn't help but remember all the times I've been with him and she was trying to forget the one time she was with him. Maybe we both needed a girl's day.

She held onto my hand as we walked back to the Diva's locker room, something she did whenever she felt guilty. My poor Candice. If only she knew what she did to Jeff and I…

Mickie was standing outside the door, giggling at CM Punk who was just across from her doing an impression of Triple H. They were getting close lately, and it was cute to see. He had always been a womanizer, she had always been wrestling and business, but the two of them together were quite cute to see. Maybe she would buy some lingerie for him tomorrow…

"Hey Punk," I said cheerfully before we went into the locker room. I got his grin to come out, which was a nice sight. He was never rough on the eyes for me. "Mind if we steal Miss. James for a minute for a girlie session? We'll be quick, I promise."

"Steal all you want, I'm going to grab a bite to eat. Anything good in catering?" I shrugged my shoulders and Candice shook her head. "I'll be the judge of that," he told us with a wink. I'm pretty sure Mickie blushed. "See you ladies later." When he left Candice, Mickie and myself entered the locker room, Mickie being last.

"So, Mickie!" Candice exclaimed happily. She was always happy if she sensed a locker room romance. "What's the verdict?"

"We're just friends, I swear! I've known him for five years now, if something were to happen, it would have already happened." Mickie was always stubborn. I looked closer at her and noticed she was wearing a little less make up than usual and was dressed a little nicer. Usually in sweatpants and a tank top, now she had on nice fitting jeans and a cute t-shirt. In fact, I'm pretty sure those jeans were Kelly's…she just seemed more natural and loose. I was happy for her. "What did you girls want to talk to me about?"

"Girls day tomorrow! Want to come? We're going to invite Kelly too, she's always up for shopping." Candice was too into this idea of a girl's day. This was a sign she felt really, _really_ guilty of what she did. "Some lunch, some shopping, what else are we going to do, Maria?"

I was too busy looking for an outfit for tonight to think of an answer. "Gossip?" I suggested. You can never go wrong with a little gossip. Maybe Mickie will really tell us what's going on between her and Punk… there's my yellow dress! This was one of Carlito's favourites, and tonight, I will wear it for him.

Sometimes I wish Jeff was my real boyfriend and Carlito was my thing on the side. That's how I treated him without him knowing. I really do want to go public with Jeff, but with my engagement… I wish I could end it. Kelly was already asking when I was going to start trying dresses on and if she could be a bridesmaid. I couldn't say no to her, my little WWE sister, I even joked that she could maybe be the maid of honor. I hope she knew I was joking.

I turned my back to the girls while I got dressed. I hope he noticed the yellow dress tonight, as I am wearing it for him. Maybe I should do something special tonight if he notices. Can't leave the poor guy hanging…

"Maria! Someone is at the door for you!" That snapped me out of my daze. I stole Layla's sandals that weren't even close to matching my outfit and made my way to the door, click clack, click clack, click clack. I scrunched my hair in attempt to make it sexy, and re-opened the door.

His smile made me melt. "Hey baby," he greets me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissed me on the cheek. "Can we get some alone time before the show?"

Alone time. Wedding Plans. Honeymoon. I didn't want to discuss any of these things. In this relationship, I was the one that hated talking about the future and what it may or may not hold for the two of us. It was his idea to get the apartment, his idea to be on the same roster, his idea to get married... I didn't contribute much to the relationship. "Sure babe," I answered, taking a hold of his hand and walked with him to the catering area.

Punk was enjoying his meal when Carlito and I took a seat at the same table. "Hey again," I said to Punk while he chewed the 'chicken' with his mouth closed. Very polite, something Mickie is picky about. Giggle, a rhyme. "I hope you don't mind that we sat here…"

"Not at all, Kanellis. Make yourself comfy, have some potatoes." 'Potatoes'. He wasn't a picky eater. "Did Carly tell you the news?"

Oh no… another surprise. A surprising relationship is the worst thing to be in. "The news?" I rested my hand in my left hand, making sure my ring was showing, as if he needed a reminder. "What's the news?"

"Assuming Mickie is in your wedding party," he began, "Punk has agreed to be one of my groomsman." Wedding party. Groomsmen. Bridesmaid. I need to start thinking about these things…and not about the man who just entered the room.

"Well, I need to go get my make-up done," I excused myself, leaning over to my boyfri…fiancée and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"You look fine." He held my hand and put it in his lap while he stared up at me. "Your dress is pretty," he told me, fingering the hem. Yes, definitely going to have to pay attention to him tonight. "Stay a bit longer, we still need to pick a date."

"I promised Kelly she could do my make-up tonight, so who knows how long that'll take." What a lie, yet it sounded so smooth. He sat at the table behind Punk with his journal.

"That's what Mickie says about her too. She does a really good job though, I thought she looked nice today." A mention of Mickie and she wasn't even brought up in the conversation… Interesting…

I left the conversation after that. No goodbye to Carlito or Punk, just a quick glance over at Jeff and a small pry that he would remember what I meant when I played with my necklace and looked at him. Please remember what it meant…

I waited inside the janitor's closet for what seemed like hours, but I knew that was an exaggeration and it was really only seven minutes by the time Jeff showed up. I had forgotten how small he makes me feel, his muscles being shown off in that white shirt of his and his basketball shorts looking so in place. With a lean against the wall, I gave him a smile. "I was worried about you," I confessed as he came closer to me.

"I'm fine." His finger went up my thigh, over the hem and up my sides, stopping at my chin. "What are you doing tonight?"

My seductive look was all I had left in my bag of tricks. "I was hoping to pretend the world is ending, but I don't want to do it alone." I raised my eyebrows at him, and he got the hint. "Carlito will be going out tonight, so it'll just be me and you."

His lips captured mine and I felt my knees give away instantly. I had also forgotten what his touch did to me. "I'll try and convince Lillian to let me go out," he told me in between kisses, "and hopefully," a kiss on my neck, "we can pretend these six months never happened."

Six months, two weeks, and four days. I'm happy I can stop counting now.


	4. John

She confuses me more than I like. A little mystery is always OK with me, I enjoy figuring something out every now and then, but Candice… she just confuses me. And she always seems to confuse me the most when she comes back from having a "Girls Day". Gossip, giggling…understandable. It's the mood swings that get me.

It's the tiredness from one night to the needy attention the next. The "I want to lay in bed all day and eat ice cream straight from the container" to making me dinner. Sometimes it's all too much for me to handle. A lot of has happened since she came back from her injury. Maybe she had some sort of life altering experience, but I like to think that would be something she would share with me. It's been over two and a half years, but there's something about her…

I lost my trail of thought when Kelly walked in front of me at the airport, bouncy and ready to go on the plane to head home for an entire five days. She could only be so lucky. "Hey Kelly," I said while she walked by. Her face blushed. Cute.

"Hi John." The bounce in her step disappeared when she sat in the chair next to me, her blond hair providing a wall for her to hide behind. "What are your plans for the next few days?"

"Chill, I guess. Nothing planned, probably hit up some bars with the brothers, sleep in lots, be with Candice, nothing too exciting. What about you?" Her sunglasses looked too big to be on her face, she was probably hung over. It wasn't the best-kept secret that she liked to party. "Anything exciting? Breaking some hearts?"

She blushed and it was cute. "No," she said bashfully. "I might get together with the girls, I haven't seen them in a long time. Five days just seems so long, but I feel like I'm going to accomplish nothing. Maybe I'll just stay in bed the whole time. They know I'll be home, if they want to do something, they can call me. Right?" She reached into her purse, took out a bottle of Advil, popped two in her mouth, and dry swallowed them. I bit my tongue so I wouldn't make an inappropriate comment; sometimes it was just too easy. "Well, that's my flight." Funny, I didn't hear any voices from the speakers… "have a good five days off. See you next Monday."

She was gone before I could say bye to her. Yet another confusing woman. Sigh. I give up. Kelly always seems more distant than everyone else. I don't know if it's because she's so young or because she had almost zero experience coming into wrestling, but something about her makes me think she needs someone to open up to. She even got on the plane by herself, whereas most the Diva's go in huge groups so they can all hug before they leave. Maybe Candice will know…

"John! Snap out of it!" Candice was standing in front of me with her hands on her hips. "What were you and Kelly talking about?" Oh no, I knew that tone. She was jealous.

"Nothing. Just plans." I pulled her into my lap and gave her a kiss on her neck. "Why Missy, what are your plans? Got anyone special to spend it with?" She tensed for a moment before she kissed me back. She likes kissing. "Is there anything you want to do? Dinner, visits, have someone over?"

She nuzzled into my neck, "not really. Let's just relax, I feel like we rarely do that anymore." She was half right. It was her that hardly relaxes anymore, always on the go with training, photo shoots, and appearances, shopping with the girls. Candice was always a busy person, but lately it's been constantly. I can't even remember the last time we just sat down and talked. In fact, I couldn't even remember the last time we were in bed together, or the last time we even…

"Good thinking. I'll relax with you all day long if that's what you want to do. I'll relax with you so much…"

"John, enough," she said giggling. "Let's get our stuff and head towards our plane. We were called a few minutes ago, but you were talking to Kelly so you wouldn't have heard it." There it is again, more jealousy. Candice picked up her bags in a huff, without allowing me to help her before she walked off in front of me, almost running. I don't get these sudden mood swings, this one almost made me snap, but we were in public, people know who we are..

I'd just like to know why she's been like this the last six months.

"Candy…" I caught her by the arm. "What's the matter with you?" I whispered the last part as I could see people giving us looks just from how I was holding her arm.

She jerked her arm out of my grip and continued on with her way, steps ahead of me. Now she was in her jealous mode, which can last up to four days. That's how long it was last time when she saw me talking to Mickie. Apparently, I can't wish her good luck before her matches or ask what she was doing on her days off either.

Candice didn't talk to me until we were in the air and I was half asleep while leaning against the window. At least it wasn't four days this time. "Baby," she whispered, leaning on my shoulder. "Can we talk?" Can we? All I've wanted to do is talk since you had that photo shoot in Hollywood six months ago and you started acting all strange. But hey, of course we can talk now. It's not like I was trying to sleep or anything.

"Sure babe. What's up?" I turned my attention to her and I could see Kelly curled into a ball on her small seat, cuddled with her blanket she always seems to travel with. She looked like she was somewhat at peace, which was more than I could say for myself at the moment. Little Blondie needed sleep.

"I don't mean to get so jealous. Its just…" she stopped to think about her next words. I hate it when she does this. "I don't like seeing you talking to other girls when I'm not there." Biting tongue. Mouth tastes like blood. Biting too hard. "And I see you talking to Kelly, and she's so young and pretty… I just don't like seeing you with other girls."

This whole thing seemed unreal, and I said nothing until she fell asleep, curled up with her back turned to me. Me talking to other girls, who were my co-workers, and she's jealous? Good thing I didn't mention how I want to punch out every guys lights when they even look at her, let alone talk to her. I trust her with Maria because Maria keeps to herself, and is usually hanging out with either Carlito or another Diva. Even when she's around Carlito I make sure I keep my thoughts to myself, but because I was just having a conversation with Kelly…

I looked around the plane and noted who was asleep and who wasn't. It'd be nice if one of the guys were awake because neither of them can understand women either. Not even the womanizer himself, CM Punk couldn't understand what the hell Candice was talking about. It still boggled my mind she didn't like me talking to the other girls.

Getting up from my seat I walked up the aisle, Candice and I were seating near the entrance, and began to look for anyone that was slightly awake. There was no one. Even the guys were clocked out, which was a strange occurrence since it was usually at least four of them that stayed awake and tried to make sure everyone else stayed awake; but not tonight. Everyone was asleep on this flight to Dallas.

I began to walk back to my seat until I felt a tug on my pants. I looked down, and there was Kelly, still with her sunglasses on and her headphones around her neck. "What are you still doing awake?" I asked her while she took off her sunglasses. The poor girl was definitely hung over from the night before.

"Thinking," she answered, cuddling with a blanket that had teddy bears on it. "There's not much else to do. Take a seat?" She motioned to the seat beside her, which was empty. I really had nothing better to do, so I sat beside her and watched as she slightly blushed. I took note that she changed into sweatpants and a tank top, whereas before we were on the plane she had on super tight jeans and a tube top, as if she slept in her clubbing outfit the night before. She seemed comfy, calm, and hung over. "So, what are you still doing awake?"

Then it hit me. Kelly was shopping with Candice earlier. Candice, Maria, Kelly and Mickie, they all went shopping earlier for their precious "Girls Day". Surely she must know something… "Same thing, thinking," I answered.

"About?" Now she seemed interested. Maybe she did know something. "I know we don't talk much, but maybe it's something I could help you with?"

It's like she read my mind. How did this cute blond know there was something I need to talk about? Was that why she was so quiet? Was she the type that just sat back and observed everyone else and their problems? "Maybe," I whispered, looking over to where Candice was to make sure she was still sleeping. "Candice has been confusing me lately. Just acting all strange and awkward… what was she like when you were shopping with her?"

Kelly cuddled with her blanket more while giving me a smile. "She was funny. We went into a couple of lingerie stores and she bought the cutes… I'm not telling you," she said with a wink. "But then her and Maria had this great idea to go into an… _adult_ store?" She raised her eyebrows. I never knew she was so expressive. "I've never been in one before, and there's all these… toys. Her and Maria kept talking about you and Carlito… it was embarrassing, yet very funny. Don't worry, it was all nice things, trust me." She patted my knee, as if to reassure me. "She seemed OK though. Why?"

"I don't know. I just think she did something and she doesn't want me to know about it."

"Like what?" Her voice went down to a whisper and she leaned closer to me. "Just throw something out there. What's the first thing that comes to your mind that she would feel guilty about?"

I thought about it, and couldn't come up with anything. She maxed out my credit card once, but she told me about that. That was during month ten of our relationship. Then there was the time where she told me she was going on a spa vacation with her sister for the weekend, but she ended up posing for _Playboy_. That was month seventeen. But what would she have done on month twenty-four… our two year anniversary? "Anything?" Kelly asked me, her eyes concerned.

I shook my head. There was nothing. "I don't know, Kel. I really don't."

"John, dig deeper. You know there's something. Can I tell you something?" She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, and I had a feeling this was a pretty big deal. All I could do was nod my head. "It wasn't that long ago, but before I was signed, I had a boyfriend. And he was wonderful don't get me wrong. But when I was modeling, he wasn't there, but other guys were, you know? I saw those guys more than I saw him, and I became close with those guys. How long were you out with your injury?"

"Three and a half months. I don't get it, Kelly. What are you trying to tell me?" She really was confusing me. I always hated it when women would talk in code, and you had to catch the subliminal message… I never could.

"I cheated on my boyfriend, John. You were off the road for three and a half months; she's been acting strange for how long? I'm just throwing it out there…"

"Do you think she would? Just from shopping with her today, did you get that vibe from her? Did she say anything that…" Now my head was spinning. Looking over at how innocent Candice seemed at that moment made me cringe. She would never do anything like that to me… would she? "Kelly, you need to tell me…"

"She was fine, honest to God. But I promise you," she stuck out her pinky, "the moment I see her acting odd, I'll tell you. Promise."

I remembered the last time I pinky swore someone. I was eight years old, and in the tree house that Hailey Nanolini's father built for her after she begged him for countless days. I know this because she lived next door to me and she was also my first kiss. We pinky swore to never tell anyone on the playground, and we both kept our promises.

Kelly seemed like someone I could trust, so I hooked my pinky in hers, and within good timing as well: The speaker just went off and told us we were about to land. Everyone began to stir as the stewardess politely shook everyone awake, but I made sure I was the one to wake up Candice. I would wait until she was fully woken up until I had a good talk with her, but for now, I know nothing. Just like she knows nothing about my little pact with Kelly.


	5. Lillian II

It took a while to get used to the fact that Jeff was living with me now, even if it was for only six months. June. This will be all over in June. Then, once June comes, we can go back to pretending these months never happened, and go back to avoiding each other, except for the odd wave in the hall so neither of us seem ignorant. I like the sound of all this. I could also go back to having my own house back and wouldn't have to worry about his dirty socks laying all over the place…and we had only spent two nights in my house.

It wasn't just the guest room that he was staying in that had changed. It was the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom… my poor bathroom. I'm pretty sure he has more hair product than I do, and when he decided to dye his hair bright red the first night and not clean out the bathtub after, I was convinced I had a serial killer in my house and Jeff was their first victim. "Sorry, I forgot. I'll do it now," he told me, after I screamed bloody murder (funny choice of words), and told him why I was so scared. He was too laid back, almost as if leaving bright red hair dye dry up in the bathtub was a regular occurrence. But hey, knowing him as well as I don't, who knows. Maybe it was regular.

"Hey Lila, I picked you up a bagel. Twelve grain, light cream cheese, lightly toasted, and…" he put a brown bag down in front of me, as well as a cardboard tray, "vanilla latté, low fat, no foam, and extra chocolate sprinkles. How did I do?" I was impressed. He had made it his duty to make me breakfast every morning as long as he was living with me, until he realized I couldn't cook so I have no food in the house. So now, he buys my breakfast every morning, as well as cleans the dishes, folds my laundry and vacuum the basement where I like to spend my free time eating raw cookie dough and watching _The Notebook. _It wasn't until Jeff came did I realize how lonely of a life I live.

He also had taken it upon himself to start calling me Lila, for no reason other than because he felt like it. It was a sweet gesture of him, seeing as I never really had a guy give me my own personal nickname. Not even Dave Batista, my husband of a whole six weeks, took the time to give me a nickname, except 'Lils', but that wasn't creative. Hell, my older brother calls me 'Lils'. But Lila… that was a name I was starting to enjoy. It kind of touched me that he even started to call me that, like he actually took the time to think of a name for me.

But I knew he wasn't really like that. We've spent three nights together, one in a hotel room (in separate beds) and two at my own house. All three nights he asked if he could go out, and I had to tell him no each time. From there, he would stop talking to me and have his phone never leaving his hand, constantly texting someone to tell them what a horrible babysitter I am, as if I made him go to bed an hour early because he acted out and this was his punishment. Maybe this week off in New York wasn't such a good idea…

"It's perfect," I told him, going back to my breakfast he had gotten for me. And it was, every detail, down to the extra sprinkles in my latté was perfect.

"I was going to go for a run after, get that whole cardio thing out of the way for the day and probably go to the gym tomorrow. Come with?" He had kept himself busy since coming to New York, as long as I kept my eye on him. We went running yesterday in Central Park, just a twenty minute subway ride away, and later went to the movies, yet another subway ride away. But anywhere we went, he was always looking. I'm not sure what for, but it always seemed like he had something better to do, and by looking for it, he would find it. He would take the time to think of a new nickname, but wouldn't take the time to settle down and have a conversation. Come to think of it, this breakfast run he went on took a little longer than yesterday. Maybe he did find something better to do.

"I don't know, maybe." My bagel was cold. He definitely found something better to do. "I might just go to the gym." There was a cute guy that went to the gym near me. He did the weights a lot, and I would pretend I wasn't looking at him while I was on the treadmill. He was tall, short brown hair, tattoos on both his shoulders. He reminded me of Dave… he had a great smile. I even told Kelly about him because he had somehow crept into my mind while the two of us were shopping one time. She had named him Jim, because that's where I always saw him. He helped me get my mind off of my personal problems while I was there for the hour and a half.

The entire bagel was cold; I was scared to drink my latté. If it was cold, I didn't want to microwave it, because it just wouldn't taste the same. I was surprised to find it still hot. "I was thinking of going to a movie." No I wasn't. But it seemed like a good excuse to not go to the gym, even if we had just gone to the theater yesterday. He didn't notice this, got up from the table and retreated to his room, closing the door behind him.

He really did keep himself busy. His phone was almost always in his hand, awaiting a text message or a phone call. I was up through the night and heard him on his phone, almost in a whisper since his door was slightly opened. I felt horrible for eavesdropping, but I couldn't help it. I heard him say something but not being able to continue, which could mean a lot of things with Jeff. He was in pretty bad shape injury wise, kind of seemed depressed. I was hoping it would open up to me eventually, if we ever got to that level of being comfortable with each other.

I could hear his voice from his room, even with his door closed. He was much louder, yelling now. Now I had to eavesdrop.

"I never said that!" Hmm, interesting. "Look, just calm down… they aren't going to find ou…No they aren't! Listen to me, just this one time, please!" Going to the fridge, I found my raw cookie dough and headed downstairs. Suddenly, I didn't feel like seeing Jim today, and what slightly surprised to find Jeff joining me in the basement a few minutes later. Raw cookie dough, the Food Network… today was going to be a lazy day.

"I'm bored," he said, sitting next to me on the couch. Then he stole the cookie dough away from me and took a bite out of it himself. Part of me felt offended by this, since he never asked to have some in the first place, but he would learn eventually. I'll let it slide. This time. "What are you watching?"

I couldn't answer this question because I didn't know the answer. I just switched on the TV and this was the first thing that came on. "Can I change the channel?" I gave him the remote, and he put it on some music channel. One of the channels where random designs just kind of spiral across the screen in random designs, and it was some industrial music playing. I never listen to the stuff.

"When was the last time you made a tent?"

"A tent?" I looked at him confusingly. Last time I made a tent? Never. I haven't even slept in a tent because I've never gone camping before. I like beaches but I don't like sleeping on the beaches. A tent?

"You never made tents when you were a kid? Where are your extra blankets, we'll make one now. You do have clothespins, right?" Before I could answer he ran off upstairs to answer his own question. He was right, the extra blankets were upstairs, right in the closet next to his room actually, and the clothespins were downstairs. Apparently, I'm making a tent in my basement tonight.

When he came down with every blanket I had in that closet, he had a huge smile on his face. This wasn't the Jeff that I knew. "Lila, you have a sofa couch down here, right, because we can pull that out, and then we'll make the tent around it. Stuff some blankets in the wooden planks up there… We can even cover to TV so it's under the blankets with us! Oh man… this is exciting." Jeff picked up the cookie dough that I had left on the coffee table and took a bite out of it. Again, without asking.

So that's what we did in the afternoon. He didn't go for his run and I never went to see my movie. We made a tent out of extra blankets in my basement, ate cookie dough, and watched whatever was on. When it came to dinner we ordered greasy Chinese food from down the street, and watched _Billy Madison_, talking along with every line. After the third time watching it, he offered me the last egg roll while he took the last of the chicken fried rice. Then, without me suspecting it, he gave me a greasy Chinese food kiss on the cheek. "Thanks," he said. "For everything."

"No problem, boyfriend. Anytime." Boyfriend was the cutest nickname I could think of for him. It was nowhere near as cool as Lila, but I'll think of something. Maybe.

"I don't mean to sound like a dick…" Uh oh. This wasn't going to end well. "But when can I go out? By myself, I mean. I wasn't allowed to go out after Raw, I can't go out by myself at night here… What do I have to do to get that right? I just feel trapped, like I can't do anything on my own."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm just following the doctor's orders, Jeff. Following them without letting Vince find out what happened to you. Then, when all that is said and done, I'll let you go out when I can trust you." He looked down and away from me. I felt bad for having to be so upfront with him, but how else was I supposed to tell him? If we were going to be with each other as much as we are, we have to tell each other the truth. Right? "Why? You never go out with the guys…"

"I do…"

"Jeff, you don't because I talk to the guys. It's always John, Randy, Punk, Shad, and Paul, and they always go out to the clubs after, which I know you don't. If you're not hanging out with them, then you aren't hanging out with the other guys either. What is so important that you have to go out at night?"

He finally looked up at me, his eyes were the most intense that I've ever seen them. He was deep in though as he chewed on his thumbnail, and I couldn't figure out if he was trying to think of the best lie to tell me, or how to break the truth. It was always a surprise with Jeff, that much I knew. "Have you ever been caught in the middle?" he asked. I nodded. "Was it a middle you never wanted to be apart of?" Is there a middle you want to be apart of?

"Jeff, enough with this subliminal bullshit I can't pick up on…"

"Then don't worry about it." He laid back on the pulled out sofa bed and patted the spot next to him. "Come here," he invited me, "you look like you need to be held."

And I did. I need to sleep, I need to get my nails done, I need to start going to the gym, if only to see Jim, and I needed someone to talk to. But most of all, as Jeff pointed out, I needed to be held. So I turned my back to him and let his arm come around my waist with his chin resting on my shoulder, and he began to sing softly in my ear. It was romantic and sweet… but the last thing I need right now is to over think every single one of his moves. We were only pretend boyfriend\girlfriend. It can never be real.

It can never be real.

It can never be real.


	6. Jeff II

She was in my dream again tonight.

It was the third night in a row I had this dream, where she would show up at my hotel room door, dressed in a trench coat and heels. Her hair would be all messy because she would walk from her hotel and it would be windy out. But she made it look sexy, like it was completely natural to have hair like that, whereas any other woman would bitch and moan. Then, she would simply enter the room, push me down on the bed and take off the trench coat.

Now she would be wearing some black lace number. Push up bra; a garter belt, panty hose, and cute boy cut shorts. She would only pay attention to me, even though there were always distractions around us. Co-workers would be watching, or we'd be in a kitchen all of a sudden, it didn't matter because it always ended up just being her and I. Her kisses, her touch…

It wasn't my first sex dream…though it was my first sex dream with her, which was kind of exciting. But then I'd wake up, it would be over, and I'd have to go and get Lillian breakfast in the morning because she can't cook and get her complicated order of a vanilla latté and some fancy bagel. I got the hang of it after a while, and it helped to get my mind off of those dreams. I never would imagine Lillian would look that good in black, but then I reminded myself it was just a dream. Over and over and over again.

The thing that snapped me out of the dreams was usually my phone ringing because Maria would be calling from her balcony at three in the morning. She knew I was in New York and was super pissed off that I didn't meet her after Raw that one night, I heard about it often from those late night phone calls, how I left her 'dry' and how she had to actually talk to her fiancée about the wedding. Apparently they were getting married in the summer, which she wasn't pleased with. A beach wedding, I think she mentioned. She didn't want any of this because he wasn't me, and I didn't want any of this because it was keeping us apart even more. The idea of ending it crossed my mind, but she would cry when I brought this up. She was going to give a man her word, but yet she was still sleeping with me on the side. I felt horrible, not just for myself, but for Carlito. He didn't have a clue this was going on.

Lillian had fallen asleep in my arms. She wasn't budging, knocked right out, and my phone was upstairs. I stroked Lila's hair, so soft and delicate through my fingers while she slept, looking so peaceful and innocent. The lines on her face were at ease, and a very discreet smile was on her face. She was dreaming, I could tell from her small mumbles, but then the smile left her face and she was beginning to mumble more now, still incoherently, but as if it went from a good dream to a bad one. When she started to kick her feet and whimper, I figured I had no choice but to wake her up. She had only been sleeping for forty-five minutes, it was hardly after three in the morning, and yet I shook her gently. "Lil… hey, Lil…"

Her eyes flashed open with tears already brimming at the lashes. "Dave?"

"It's Jeff," I answered. "Are you OK?" When she was fully awake she had wrapped her arms around my neck and crawled into my lap. I didn't know what else to do except hold her. She cried for a long time, silently in my arms. I would hear the odd sniffle, and she was using my sleeve to rub her eyes, but it wasn't until around five did she finally stop, though she was still awake.

She sniffled again before she sat up to look at me. "I'm sorry," she apologized, rubbing her eye to get the sleep out. "I get these dreams because…" she let out a sigh. "Do you want to go outside for a bit?"

I was only in my boxers and my cigarettes were upstairs, along with my phone which probably had seventeen missed calls and thirty-two text messages, all from Maria. That was my rough estimate anyways. When Lillian got up to go outside, I told her I was just going to grab my smokes and that I would meet her out there. Which was true, I just wanted to see if Maria had called.

And she had. Thirteen times, I wasn't too far off with my guess, and only twenty-five texts. She must've gone out tonight. I called her since I still had time to kill before I met Lils outside.

"Jeff! Where have you been? I've been trying to get a hold of you all night!" I could hear the car horns from the street, telling me she was outside on her balcony. "Seriously, he's been sleeping for almost two hours, and here I am, just outside with a bottle of wine, trying to call you…"

"Maria, I'm not by myself anymore. I hang out with Lillian during the day, we made a tent tonight, ate cookie dough and watched a movie. She's a fun gal, I like hanging out with her. This is the perfect time for you and Carli…"

"Shut up, Jeff! All Carlito wants to talk about is the fucking wedding and where we should go on our honeymoon, who's in the wedding party, when we need to talk to Vince about it, it's all such bull shit." I heard her let out a sigh and gulp because she just had a swallow of wine; "I just want to be with you right now. Can I come over? I know where Lillian lives…"

"What? No! Think straight, baby. No one knows about us, and you want to come over while Lillian is still home? No, you can't. You need to go back inside and lay with your fiancée and plan your wedding. We can't last much longer, Maria. I'm calling it off the week before your wedding." And that was final. I hung up on her before I had to hear her cry again, and listen to her beg me not to leave. We hadn't seen each other since she got engaged, and if everything went well, it would stay that way.

I found my cigarettes and a shirt, threw it on, than walked downstairs and outside where Lillian was, lighting candles so the bugs wouldn't attack us tonight. She had a blanket covering her shoulders, but I could still see the white tank top and boxer shorts she had on underneath. At that moment, from how she was sitting and the expression on her face, she seemed comfy and content. This was the first time I had seen her like this since she took me in.

"Need anything while I'm still up?" I asked before I sat down. When she shook her head no, it was at that very moment that I decided tonight, I was going to tell her. I almost did earlier, but now I was sure of myself that I would tell her about Maria and I. From beginning to end, and I just wouldn't tell Maria. I sat down in a chair next to her and lit up my cigarette. This was one of very few secrets that she knew about, not even Matt knows I smoke. Imagine my surprise when I saw her reach for the pack and take one out for her. She leaned the stick into the flame and exhaled the smoke, completely relaxed and like a pro.

"I haven't had one of these since college," she confessed with a small cough. Okay, not too much of a pro. "I smoked like a chimney then. Well, actually, I had one the day before and the day of my wedding, but only one, and it was when I was absolutely sure no one was around." She inhaled again. "I forgot how relaxed they make me." Lillian blew a smoke ring in the air, then another, then another. Three perfect smoke rings one right after the other, it looked like something she mastered in high school.

"I won't tell anyone if that makes you feel any better," I told her with a smile. "I know smoking can mess with the vocal chords." Small talk. I was pathetic at small talk, and the conversation I just had Maria was in the back of my head. Was it right just to end it like I did? A week before the wedding, now she's going to expect something every night, days off or not. The moment Carlito leaves the hotel room she's on the phone with me.

We just sat there for a long time and smoked cigarettes. It was relaxing and something we both needed, but there was never a moment when I felt like I could just blurt out I was with Maria. I was with Maria. When was I with Maria? It could be taken like I was with her for a night, or a week. But it was two years I was "with" Maria.

"So, Mickie and Punk. What do you think?" Wow. The fact that I even knew that stupid tidbit of locker room gossip made me want to shoot myself. It was seriously the dumbest thing that had ever came out of my mouth. This tops all the times when I used cheesy pick up lines on girls at bars, or anytime I would hit on Trish Stratus when she still worked with WWE. I remember her last night with the company and I went up to her while she was in tears and offered her "one more chance", and she almost took me up on it too except she was getting married…

Déjà vu. "I think it's cute," Lillian said, which helped get my mind off of Trish. "Have you seen Mickie glow when she's around him, or after? What's he like after they hang out?" Lila sucked at small talk too.

"What was your dream about?" That was better. I knew that's why she wanted to come out here in the first place.

"Oh, it's just these pills I'm on, they sometimes give me dreams. It's a side effect that I've gotten used to…" She swallowed, hard, and she suddenly became very uncomfortable. "Dave was in my dream tonight. He always seems to pop up in them, and he had his suit from our wedding on… and he was with Melina on our bed. I don't even know if it was a dream because that's how I have found him, except he didn't have his suit on…" she took a huge drag from her smoke, put it out and lit up another one. "These pills give me mood swings too, so if I flip out on you for no reason…"

"No worries, Lila. I understand." And I did. I've been on pills that gave me hardcore mood swings, which ended a handful of relationships. So instead of blurting out about being with Maria I listened to Lillian talk about how hard she was taking to divorce, how she truly felt Dave was it, and the night that ended it for them. It was him that asked for the divorce, six weeks after their wedding so he could be with Melina. The pills she was on were antidepressants, but she also had sleeping pills for incase she couldn't sleep at night. I was on those too, but for recreational reasons. I stopped that habit when Trish asked me to, and she only had to ask me once. Maria hasn't even asked how I was doing after my overdose.

We stayed outside until the sun came up, and I was the first to give in and let out a yawn. When Lillian admitted she was tired too, we went back inside to our tent. The blankets were all kicked at to the bottom, but once we got those straighten out, she fell asleep in my arms again, and this time, she didn't wake up because of a bad dream. She woke up because it was three in the afternoon and Maria had come over, wanting to know if Lillian wanted to go shopping, only Maria entered the house on her own and found us in our tent, spooning.

I got an earful when Lillian got up to get dressed. Although she was talking directly at me, and even shoving me so I would pay attention to her, I just couldn't listen. But she did make one thing clear to me: Lillian needed me more than she did.


	7. Kelly Kelly

Dallas. I don't know what I was doing when I got a plane ticket to come here, but here I was in a hotel room that was far too expensive for me to afford, but it was all I could do because I didn't have enough to save for a house and didn't like the idea of living in an apartment. So, here I was in some expensive hotel room for five days with no one to share it with.

Such a depressing life I lead.

The hangover that I currently had was making my head throb, and for a second I questioned if I was drinking too much on a regular basis, but decided against it. No more than the average just-turned-legal-age girl was. But then again, I wasn't the average girl. Just last week I was at some stupid New Years party with my far older co-workers, making an ass out of myself as I attempted to give poor Cody Rhodes a lap dance. That was the last thing I remembered of that night, and then I woke up in his hotel room with another hangover.

I had a quick shower and got dressed, not feeling in the mood to stay in this room for another minute. With my sunglasses on my face, I kept my head down and my eyes focused on my feet so no one would interact with me. When I was doing the Walk Of Shame on New Years Day, I had a little girl come up to me and ask me for my autograph. It was early… well, it was around eleven in the morning… and I felt so guilty. Here's this little girl, her big blue eyes and her blond hair in pigtails, asking for my autograph, and I couldn't even remember anything past ten o'clock from the night before. "Did you see the ball drop?" I asked her while she gave me a pen and a napkin.

She nodded her head excitedly. I don't remember watching it. "Daddy had me on his shoulders so I could see over everyone. It was really pretty." She was adorable, and of all the wrestlers in the hotel that were slowly coming down, she only paid attention to me. I'm a horrible role model for this kid; I didn't even brush my teeth before I left Cody's room. Not only was I trashy in that I didn't remember what had happened the night before, but now I don't brush my teeth before I go out in public.

This time I did brush my teeth, and while I was making my way towards the lobby from the elevator, a pair of arms were wrapped around my waist and spun me around. Spinning around is never good for a hangover. I kicked them in the shins to put me down, but they more so dropped me, and then they dropped themselves. I'm lying in the middle of everyone's way with John Morrison on top of me, laughing. I'm pretty sure I was the only one that didn't find this humorous at all. "Hey Kels, just waking up?"

"Get off of me." Things have been awkward since this make out session we had after a lame autograph session we both had to attend for WrestleMania. If Miz hadn't walked in when my shirt was off in the limo, it wouldn't have been so bad.

"Want to get some breakfast?"

"Not with you. Leave me alone." I needed time alone with my thoughts, so I could write them down and try to figure out my life, because that seems to be an issue I've been avoiding lately. When I got up from off the floor, I could hear his footsteps behind me. This is never a good sign.

Out on the sidewalks, the sun was blasting down on me. It hurt my head even more. Today seemed like that no matter what was going to happen, it was only going to make my hangover even worse. All the way to this tiny café I remembered from the last time I was in Dallas, he followed me. Then he sat across from me at the booth I claimed near the back, sunglasses still on. He wasn't wearing his sunglasses, but from what I recall, he's never had a drink in his life.

Then he stared at me, waiting for me to start the conversation. I pulled my little book that I kept in my purse to start writing stuff down, except I got sidetracked by what I had written down the last time, something about how I was going to help my life change by helping him. John Cena.

It was still quiet until we ordered our food. Pancakes and bacon sounded delicious, but apparently, it wasn't as appetizing as a fruit salad because that's what Morrison ordered, with a glass of water. "Whoa Johnny, slow down," I said sarcastically. "Don't live too wildly."

"How's your head?" He shouted. Asshole. I made note to not make fun of his diet again. "The sunglasses are a nice touch today. Weren't you wearing those at the airport the other day too? When aren't you wearing your sunglasses?"

"Is this an intervention?" I asked him quietly. I really didn't feel like being ridiculed at the moment. "I just kind of want to eat and go on with my day."

"We're worried about you, Kelly. You show up hungover, fly hungover, and drive hungover…it isn't good for your system. You could get kicked off the road if you keep it up like this, and no one wants to see that no matter how bad they treat you." He was referring to Victoria with that statement. She never liked me. "You're only twenty-one…"

I took a drink from the bitter cup of coffee that was in front of me and stayed quiet. I knew all that, none of it was new information. Candice mentioned it when we were shopping the other day, because she was worried too. But whatever, I just wanted to be alone. "What were you going to do today?" he asked me.

I didn't know the answer. "Go shopping? I don't know. Maybe go to the gym…"

"Work out those toxins, good idea."

"No, Johnny, not to work out the toxins. Fuck, can you leave me alone? Please?" Then our food came, which meant he wouldn't be leaving until he was finished eating. Today was not meant for me. I picked at my food, not feeling very hungry all of a sudden. Being around him always does this to me, and the awkward tension never helps. My pancakes were cold by the time he finished his fruit salad and was on his third glass of water. He was quiet while he ate, but I'm sure he heard the girls giggling at the table next to us… it was too loud for my head.

"What are you thinking about?" he said, leaning back in his chair and slowly scratching his stomach, lifting up his shirt a little bit; he definitely heard the girls next to us. "I know when you're thinking because it's the only time you're quiet and not smiling." He just wouldn't leave me alone. The worst part out of all this is that he never takes the shrug of the shoulders as an answer, he always wants you to indulge in what you're feeling. The problem is, telling people what I feel never makes me feel better, it just makes me feel worse. Then I get paranoid that they're going to tell someone so I have that to worry about on top of everything else. I never told anyone that I've cheated on my ex-boyfriend before except John, now I'm all freaked out because I'm pretty sure he told Candice. Now I'm going to be the unfaithful drunk in the locker room instead of just the drunk. This is what goes through my mind, and this is why I have to write it all down instead of 'talking it out'.

I wish I could go back to bed.

"You know he still has a girlfriend."

"Who?"

"Cena." What the hell? Of course I knew he had a girlfriend, I just talked to him on the plane a few days ago. "I saw you talking to him, and just thought before you got too close for comfort…"

"I'm not an idiot. I know he's with Candice. We were just talking, just like you and I are right now. People can do that, you know." He shrugged his shoulders as an answer. Ugh! He can shrug his but I can't shrug mine? What kind of a world do we live in?

He ordered for the check and told the waiter he would pay for the girls beside us as well. They actually swooned when they thanked him and didn't even bother stopping him. I knew what he was doing. Playing the Mr. Nice Guy card so he could get more fans. He annoys me. When he paid for breakfast and left a hefty tip for the waiter we left the café and he took me to the gym that was back at the hotel. I should've known this is where we would end up.

"Hop on the treadmill," he ordered. I gave in, because I know there was no use to fighting with him. He would probably pick me up and spin me around again. I started at a slow pace and held onto the sides. My sunglasses remained on my face. "We'll do thirty minutes of cardio, then we'll work on your arms and your abs, they could use toning."

"Your face could use toning," I mumbled my pathetic comeback low enough so he wouldn't hear me.

The timer on the treadmill said we had been going for ten minutes before he spoke to me again. "So, Dallas," he said, running at a pace I couldn't even bother to keep up with. "I didn't know you had a place here." I mumbled something so lowly even I don't know what I said. "A hotel for five days? Any reason why?"

Of course there was a reason. He just didn't have to know about it. Although it was quite depressing that I hadn't seen my reason just yet… I still had three days… "No reason," I told him. "I just really like Dallas. They have nice stores to shop in, and I needed new outfits anyways because I have this photo shoot next week, plus an autograph signing and a radio interview. I need to look good, Johnny." Mission accomplished: he kept his mouth shut until we hit the weights.

I sat on the floor while I stretched out and he sat across from me, placing his feet inside my knees to stretch my legs out even more while he pulled me forward towards him. I never remembered it hurting this much when I had done this stretch with Cena, but I usually wasn't hungover. I remembered he laughed when I tried to pull him towards me and he didn't even budge.

"So, what have you done the last two days?" I asked him, picking up small weights because I didn't feel like being there. When I worked out with John, I used heavier weights to keep up with him, but I always ended up sore the next day. Morrison didn't deserve the attention I gave John.

"Oh, you know. Worked out, visited some cousins, hung out with Melina. We're going out tonight if you would like to join us. It's a double date with Candice and Cena, but we could probably find you someone and make it a triple." The last thing I wanted right now was to go out, unless they were buying drinks. Maybe if I batted my eyelashes enough I could get a drink on the house. My head gave a quick throb, and that was the last time I thought of a drink for the rest of the day. "I think Miz might be around visiting some friends. Unless you want to go out with Cody." Then he gave me a wink. He knew what went on New Years Eve.

I laid back down on the floor to do sit ups, but then he stood on my feet. "I know what's up, Kelly."

"Do you now?"

"I do. And I'm here to remind you that he has a girlfriend." I reached up to slap him but he caught my hand and took my sunglasses off with his other. He stared down at me, right into my eyes and shook his head. "It seems that I also need to remind you that he loves her and would never do anything to hurt her."

I couldn't help by smirk. He was hurting her by talking to me while she was sleeping. I never took Candice as the jealous type, but now her cover up about being 'worried' about me made sense. He was probably hurting her more than he would ever know. Biting the inside of my cheek was the only thing I could do, or else I would blurt it out to Morrison, and he's the last person that deserves to know this type of gossip. When he stepped off my feet he went on his own business and began to do sit ups, so for pay back, I straightened out his knees and straddled him on the hips, right in the middle of the gym and in front of whoever was there. He tried to sit up, but I pushed him back down and leaned forward my hair covering our faces as if it was a wall. "He talks to me," I whispered. "That's hurting her enough."

Getting off of him, I stuck my sunglasses down the middle of my tank top and began to head back to my hotel room, trying to find they key in my wallet. Once again, I could hear his footsteps behind me, and they didn't stop until we had both reached the elevator. When I pressed the 7 in the elevator, the floor of my hotel room, I noticed he didn't hit any buttons. Which is funny, since we weren't staying on the same floor.

All the way to my room he followed me, stalking me because I knew something that he didn't. I knew the one piece of information of the biggest star in the company that I promised I wouldn't share with a single soul, and yet here I was with John Moirrson at the door to my room. At any given moment I could just spill it out and tell him how Cena thinks Candice is cheating on him… but I wouldn't do that.

"Would you like to come in?" I asked him, opening the door to my room. He followed me inside, and once the door was shut, he backed me up against it and kissed me.


	8. Candice Michelle

"Babe, what are you wearing tonight?" I stared at the three dressed that laid on the bed, waiting for him to reply. He had been awfully quiet today, and yesterday for that matter. Thousands of thoughts were swarming in my head as to why he hadn't been talking to me, and the only one I could ever settle on was that he knew something was up with me and my mood swings. Maria even convinced me to take a pregnancy test the other day, but when that came out negative (thankfully), I still couldn't figure out my mood swings. At least out loud. I knew it was because of my night with Jeff all those months ago. Eventually, I would tell John. Just not… now. "Should I wear the brown dress?"

He came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his lower body, and I resisted every urge I had to rip it off of him and throw him down on the bed right there. John is easily the only guy I know that takes less than twenty minutes to get ready, including a shower, and still look amazing. All he had to do was smile at me to make me feel guilty. "Brown looks nice on you," he commented. "It matches your eyes." He kissed my shoulder, "and your hair," a kiss on my neck, "and your skin…" I was only in a halter-top and track pants, so I could feel his wet body press against my back as he continued to kiss me, his hands traveling over my stomach in a teasing manner. A few seconds ago I would've wanted this, but now that I was thinking about what Jeff and I had done, I just didn't want him touching me.

"I'm being serious." I squirmed out of his grip and concentrated back on the dresses. "I want to look better than Melina, and I want your eyes on me and only me tonight."

When I held up the purple dress for him to see, he had left and retreated back to the bathroom. I could hear the water running from the sink, so I stood in the open doorway and watched him brush his teeth in his boxers. "Morrison called me a few hours ago," he managed to say. "Kelly is going to be joining us tonight, but it's not an intervention so don't say anything that'll make her feel bad about her drinking." He spit the toothpaste out and had a gulp of water from the running tap. "Miz is coming too. I guess he's Kel's date or whatever she likes. What's wrong, Candy?"

I tried not to make the disappoint on my face so noticeable when he told me Kelly was coming, but it was like an automatic reaction. It's not that I didn't like the girl, but there's just something about her that I don't trust. "Other than sunglasses, what do you think she'll be wearing?" I joked to John, except he didn't laugh. If anything, he looked offended. "It was a joke! Why aren't you laughing, it was funny."

"There's nothing funny about another person's problems, Candice. You wouldn't like it if someone made fun of your past." He walked out of the bathroom in a huff and I found myself following him back to the bedroom. "She really needs someone to listen to her, and you and the other girls just ignore her…"

"We took her shopping! Maria, Mickie, Kelly and I, we all went shopping the other day, and she had a blast. She laughed at Mickie's jokes, which are the least funny things I have ever heard, and she bought me lunch. We listened to what she had to say."

He threw a pair of dress pants on the bed, along with a shirt and looked at me from the closet. "Oh yeah? What was she saying?" He stood in front me while I sat on the bed, on top of the brown dress that I had planned on wearing tonight, waiting for my answer… I didn't have one. I could lie to him, because I've been doing enough of that lately that I could probably get away with it. "Candice?"

"Just… stuff. Diva things. How she's happy she's on Raw now, whom she thinks is cute. Just… girl stuff. Gossip." I began to dress myself in the brown dress, trying not to make eye contact with him. When I did finally look up, he was dressed and tying up his shoes. "John, why are you being so distant with me? I'm telling you answers, we're having conversations…"

His groan is what cut me off. How he ran his fingers through his short, cut hair in frustration, than balled his hands up into fists at his sides. I watched as he stood up from the floor, in pain because his knees have been bothering him, and he silently left our bedroom, after snatching the keys up to his car from the dresser we share. It took me another forty-five minutes to do my make-up and hair, which for me is record time. John had his thumbs busy on his phone when I got into the car, he was busy texting someone, and continued to do so even after I had done up my seatbelt. "We can go now," I whispered to him. It looked like he was in one of those moods where I could say something wrong at any time.

I didn't like that the entire car ride to the restaurant was in pure silence, and that we were the last couple to arrive. Morrison and Melina, along with Miz and Kelly were already sitting at a table near the back, enjoying drinks and what looked like a half-eaten appetizer. "Come join us!" Kelly had yelled from where she was, half leaning on Miz. "We saved you some spinach dip!"

"No sunglasses," John mentioned before he took a few steps in front of me. He wasn't even holding my hand in public. By the time I reached the table, I was stuck sitting next to Blondie herself. If there were an option to crawl into a hole, and never be seen again, I would have taken that chance in a second.

When the spinach dip was gone and John was well into his third drink of the night, he casually placed his phone on the table, finally letting it free from his hand. Sometimes I could swear he had that thing surgically placed in the palm, just so he knew where it was at all times. But then he decided to lean over and tell something to Morrison, and his phone taunted me right there on the table. When I was sure he was completely distracted by his own story… I stole his phone and put it in my purse as quietly as I could, until I noticed Kelly was watching me.

I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't impressed, and she took a sip from her glass of water while she watched me zip up my purse. Before she could say anything, I excused myself to the washroom, shooting Melina a look so she would come too. She kind of knew what was going through my head right now.

"I did not just see you steal John's phone," she practically announced as we walked into the washroom. "What the hell is going through your mind? Are you going to look through it? That invasion of privacy and unless you want him to lose trust in you…"

"Oh, I got that covered," I said uneasily, digging through my purse to find it. "You cheated, haven't you?"

Her hands were placed into her jean pockets, and she put one of her high heels against the wall. She crossed her arms in front of her, "it's not something I'm proud of, but yes," she admitted, "I cheated on Johnny. With Batista, and I ruined his marriage. That's fun, knowing you helped someone break their vows. I feel like all that happens in the locker room are like, these secret romances, like what Dave and I had. No one knew about that until Lillian filed for divorce. You haven't completely ruined yourself until you're the other woman, and people know about it. Why? Have you cheated?"

"He's talking to her behind my back!" I wanted to throw the phone across the room when I saw Kelly's name show up more than five times on his recent call list. "Look at this! And if he isn't calling her…" I quit the screen and moved to the test messages. The amount of times her name showed up made me want to cry. "Why would he do this to me, behind my back? With Kelly, of all people! That blond bimbo, thinking she could just stroll into the company…"

"So you have cheated." Melina took her foot off of the wall and walked towards me, taking the phone out of my hand. "You aren't covering it up very well. Your mood swings are horrible because you're keeping it in and not telling anyone except…"

I sniffled, "Maria."

"Maria. Of all the girls in the locker room, you told her. She's trustworthy, though a little sneaky. Nice girl, I suppose. Whom did you sleep with?" She was leaning against the counter with me now, an arm around my waist. "You can tell me, I really won't tell anyone. I tell Morrison lots of things, but I know when to keep something secret." I leaned my head on her shoulder, allowing that one tear escape from my eye, only for her to wipe it away. "Well?"

"It was six months ago, when John was out with his injury. We went to that bar in Greensborough, remember? I had one too many to drink, so Jeff said I could stay at his place for the night instead of bunking with someone in their hotel room, because he wouldn't charge me. But then when he drove home, we walked in, and I just kissed him. I was lonely, John wasn't with me, I hadn't had any kind of attention since he left, and Jeff is single…" She wrapped her arms around me and allowed me to cry. I couldn't tell you if other people came in or not, because I really wasn't paying attention. Melina was comforting because she knew what I was talking about, and did her best to reassure me. It was all she had to do, because the other person that knew this never wanted to hear me talk about my night with Jeff, especially not now with an upcoming wedding. I didn't realize all I needed was someone to listen to me.

"Is everything OK in here?" Kelly walked in, much too perfect looking. Her flawless skin, cute looks and her choice of apparel this evening, of course John would be cheating on me with her. "The guys were getting worried, they ordered for you. Hope you like chicken." A joke. Melina smiled but I didn't laugh. This was much more serious than the beginning of the night had been. I noticed Kelly had her purse hanging off of her shoulder, and it perfectly matched her belt and shoes. "I brought some make-up if you want to touch up, Candice," she offered to me, putting her bag down on the counter. "I could help you if you wanted. Mickie said I did a really good job. You guys do know her and Punk are spending the five days together, right? How cute is that?"

I didn't get an opinion when Melina stepped aside and let Kelly move in. She brought out her make up kit and began to fix my make-up that I had cried off, weather I wanted her to or not. I didn't want her to, of course. If anything, I wanted to punch her right there for talking to my boyfriend so much. Then I began to think of when this wave of jealousy started to wash over me… and it was after I had cheated on John with Jeff.

Melina and Kelly were talking about backstage things, and I would laugh if Melina said something funny just to make it look like I was half paying attention. When Kelly was putting some gloss on my lips, I seriously considered biting her fingers, but resisted. I couldn't hurt my boyfriend's plaything.

She finished my make-up, gave me a hug and left, as if she had accomplished what she had came out to do. Once the door was closed, I stole the phone from Melina and walked into the third stall furthest from the entrance and stuck it in the tank part of the toilet. Putting the lid back on as perfect as I could, I put my finger in her face, "you saw nothing," I told her, not waiting for a response before I walked out the door.

The rest of dinner couldn't have gone any smoother. We shared many laughs and I managed to gather some more information about the business, which was something I hadn't been paying attention to lately. The evening was so fun; it almost made me forget about all the jealousy I felt when Kelly was around John.

Almost.

We said our goodbyes, and he held my hand as we walked to his car. On the way, all he did was whisper to me about how beautiful I looked and how natural I was after my long visit in the washroom. He had pointed out how us girls seemed more bonded together after tonight, so I politely nodded my head in agreement. If only he knew what I really thought of the little blond girl, and what I want to do to her when I finally catch them, like how Melina was caught. Then, I wouldn't be the bad person, because I wasn't the one doing the heart breaking, I would be the one with the broken heart.

I laid on our bed when we got home, and he took my shoes off for me, sitting at the edge of the bed and gave me a foot massage. "That feels so good," I moaned, enjoying the feeling of not having the uncomfortable shoes on anymore. His hands moved higher, still rubbing any sore parts I had on me, which we plenty. All because of stress. All because I had cheated on him and didn't want him to find out. I could feel him move up, and it wasn't long before he began kissing my collarbone and my neck. We hadn't had a night like this since our days off began, and I could feel him against my thigh and knowing how bad he wanted it. The straps off my dress fell off my shoulders and slid down my arms as he undressed me, making me feel like I had to re-pay the favor by unbuttoning his pants.

His eyes looked down on me, I could tell he was taking in everything I had, and when he licked his lips while still staring at me, I knew exactly what he wanted to hear. "John," I whispered, sitting up and putting my hand on the back of his neck to bring him closer to me. Our lips were mere inches apart, I could feel his hot breath against me, "make love to me."


End file.
